For our first post, let's start with a few repeat offenses:
1. Talking about Storage Wars. I get it. It's a popular television show about storage, and you're at a storage facility - I get the connection, thanks. Just kindly resist the urge to gush about how it's, like omg, the coolest show ever, because if I hear, "So, do you guys do...like...storage wars?" one more time, my head just may explode. In fact, I play this game (with myself) every day where I see how long I can go without hearing the words "storage" and "wars" put together. Generally, by noon each day, I have lost this game.
|I can just about guarantee you that what's REALLY in most storage units is a dirty mattress, a crappy bike, a tire or 3, boxes of old clothes, a washer and dryer that don't work, and porn if you're lucky (or unlucky, depending on the porn).|
2. "How much is your storage?" Always catches me off guard. I always say (nicely, of course), "Well, do you know what size you're looking for?" but what I really mean is, "Lady. We have over 20 different sizes. Do you really think they're all the same price?"
3. Making up sizes. "Yeah, I'm going to need a 13 by 17 unit." Oh, you are? Sorry, but that's not a thing. What do you think storage is? Like, you tell us exactly how much space you need, and we just run back with our tools and build you a storage unit, real quick-like? Sorry to disappoint, but...no. Just no.
4. When I'm going over your lease with you, listen. If I see you picking your nose while I go over how to get into the gate, then you come in later complaining that you can't get into the gate, I will smack you in the mouth.
|What's that? You're wondering about locks? Cool, bro, because I didn't talk about that literally 5 minutes ago or anything...|
5. Don't act like you're in a huge hurry and that me going over your lease with you is a huuuuge inconvenience, then proceed to interrupt me the entire way through the lease. Going over a lease only takes a couple of minutes in the first place (if you let me get through it), but clearly you're not in THAT big of a hurry if you won't shut up about last night's episode of Storage Wars while I'm trying to explain the Lien Process with you. Come on!
7. THE GATE CLOSES AFTER EVERY VEHICLE, PEOPLE.
Wow. That felt good. More to come.