Sunday, July 29, 2012

Um, I forgot my gate code...again.

Lady, this is the 4th time you've come in having forgotten your gate code. And the 5th time I've written it down for you.

Unit Number POUND Address STAR.

COME ON!

What are you forgetting? Your address? At this point, it is completely believable to me that you actually have, in fact, forgotten where you live. 

But anyway, I wrote it down for you. Again. On a conveniently business-card-sized piece of paper. Maybe put it in your wallet and hold onto it for next time...? Now please go move your truck, which you left parked at the gate, so that the car behind you may get to the gate and also forget their code.

No, but really.



Saturday, July 28, 2012

Welcome

We've been talking about starting this blog for quite some time, so here it finally is! People of Storage is just our fun way of sharing stories about the interesting folks we deal with here in the storage industry.

For our first post, let's start with a few repeat offenses:

1. Talking about Storage Wars. I get it. It's a popular television show about storage, and you're at a storage facility - I get the connection, thanks. Just kindly resist the urge to gush about how it's, like omg, the coolest show ever, because if I hear, "So, do you guys do...like...storage wars?" one more time, my head just may explode. In fact, I play this game (with myself) every day where I see how long I can go without hearing the words "storage" and "wars" put together. Generally, by noon each day, I have lost this game.

I can just about guarantee you that what's REALLY in most storage units is a dirty mattress, a crappy bike, a tire or 3, boxes of old clothes, a washer and dryer that don't work, and porn if you're lucky (or unlucky, depending on the porn).

2. "How much is your storage?" Always catches me off guard. I always say (nicely, of course), "Well, do you know what size you're looking for?" but what I really mean is, "Lady. We have over 20 different sizes. Do you really think they're all the same price?"

3. Making up sizes. "Yeah, I'm going to need a 13 by 17 unit." Oh, you are? Sorry, but that's not a thing. What do you think storage is? Like, you tell us exactly how much space you need, and we just run back with our tools and build you a storage unit, real quick-like? Sorry to disappoint, but...no. Just no.

4. When I'm going over your lease with you, listen. If I see you picking your nose while I go over how to get into the gate, then you come in later complaining that you can't get into the gate, I will smack you in the mouth.

What's that? You're wondering about locks? Cool, bro, because I didn't talk about that literally 5 minutes ago or anything...

5. Don't act like you're in a huge hurry and that me going over your lease with you is a huuuuge inconvenience, then proceed to interrupt me the entire way through the lease. Going over a lease only takes a couple of minutes in the first place (if you let me get through it), but clearly you're not in THAT big of a hurry if you won't shut up about last night's episode of Storage Wars while I'm trying to explain the Lien Process with you. Come on!


COME ON!!!
6. Expecting refunds after you, without notice, move out in the middle of the month. This one kind of goes along with number four, because we explain it in the lease. But even if we didn't... just use your brain! If you moved out of your apartment in the middle of the month after paying rent, would you go to your landlord and say, "Uh, hey, can I have part of my rent back? I'm moving out now - forgot to tell you!"...? Well, maybe you would, but she or he is probably going to laugh and tell you to go play in the street. Same idea here.

7. THE GATE CLOSES AFTER EVERY VEHICLE, PEOPLE.


Wow. That felt good. More to come.